


Good Intentions

by orphan_account



Series: Good Intentions (Outlander AU-ish) [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: 1940s, Arguing, Badass Kate Bishop, Children, Domestication, Don't Fuck With the Barnes, F/M, Falling In Love, Homesickness, Hurt/Comfort, Husband Bucky Barnes, Hydra (Marvel), Idiots in Love, Kissing in the Rain, Nightmares, Parent Bucky Barnes, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Kate Bishop, Rating: M, Revenge, Time Travel, Trust Issues, War, Young Bucky is a Tramp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-10-30 13:22:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10877643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: After being sent back into the 40s, Kate and her son Ben hide in Brooklyn with a young Bucky and Steve. Bucky has a hard time adjusting to this new temporary lifestyle, but finds himself falling in love with the strange woman who says is his wife in the future. Meanwhile, the Avengers fight HYDRA in the future.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NoVacancyMind](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoVacancyMind/gifts).



> Gifted to the kind NoVacancyMind, who has been the biggest supporter of this crazy brainchild. 
> 
> I'm splitting this part into chapters within the work so I can alternate what's going on in the 40s and the present time with Bucky.

Bucky held the child in his dirty arms while Kate set their bags down. He looked into the boy's eyes and touched the boy's hair. This was definitely his son. The boy just loved him, he couldn't tell that he was ten years younger than the daddy he was used to. Bucky was kind of freaked out that he had a son he didn't know about. The woman was not familiar, though he could imagine that he was wasted and didn't think about protection with a dame like that. He thought the kid was cute though and his mother was even cuter. What he couldn't piece together was how they were married. Did he get shitfaced and go to a courthouse?

"Dada, no!" Ben giggled when Bucky tried to set him down. 

Bucky sighed, "Kid, I'm dirty." 

"Dada, up!" Bucky picked Ben back up and carried him to his room, where Kate was sitting. 

Kate sat on the bed and cried softly, her head in her hands. Ben whimpered and started to cry too, clinging to Bucky. Bucky sighed, sitting next to Kate and putting a hand on her knee. Kate sniffled and looked up, her eyes red. Bucky handed Ben to her and watched as she hugged the child, stopping his tears. It was beautiful and made him long for both of them. 

"I'm your husband in the future, right? Tell me what's wrong, doll. I'll fix it." He offered a smile. 

So Kate told him, she told him everything. Bucky blinked and laid down on the bed, looking at his ceiling. "Shit."

Ben crawled out of Kate's arms and onto Bucky, laying on him. "Dada, sleep."

Kate pulled Ben off of him and sighed, "I'm sorry. He's just used to my husband. We take naps with him every afternoon. He's very attached to you in the future."

Bucky sat up and licked his lips, sighing. "That's... it's alright, Kate. It's just... different to me. I ain't really the marryin' and babyin' type. Well, I guess not now." 

"No, not for another seven years." Kate looked at her son. 

"But..." Bucky began. "I can try to be what you both need. I just gotta explain this to Steve." 

Kate nodded and kissed his cheek. "Go shower. I can... try to make dinner."

Bucky licked his lips and kissed her cheek back, "I like cooking. I have a lot of books, if you like reading. My radio's not so bad either. I think there's a ball game on, if you're into baseball. Does Ben like playing catch?"

"He's a year old." Kate scoffed. 

Bucky shrugged, "He's a big kid. I'm gonna scrub the dirt off my body and then we can decide on what we want to eat... that okay?"

Kate nodded and stood up, "Thank you. For everything."

"You are my wife. I oughta be good to ya." Bucky looked down at his feet. "I'll be quick." 

Kate played the radio for Ben, who fell asleep with the static and the crooning. She sighed, realizing her son hadn't had his nap. He was getting old enough to lap alone, which broke Kate's heart a little. Kate looked around her husband's apartment. He was very much a 20-something. What made her angry, though she knew she had no reason as he had no idea she existed, was the underwear on the floor that was very female. She threw it away, she had a feeling she could convince him to not miss it that much. 

Bucky came out with a towel wrapped around his waist and his arms across his chest, folded. "It ain't too messy, is it?"

"No, it's not bad. I'm used to you being meticulously clean, so it's actually kind of nice like this. Ben's out like a light." She looked at their son. 

"He's a handsome boy. A year old, you say?" He walked closer to him, kneeling down to watch him breathe. 

"Yup. Born in April." She smiled. 

Bucky looked at her, he was youthful. So young and so... chipper was the only word that came to mind. He was a hardworking, young guy who loved to drink and have sex with strange women. She was forcing him to grow up, she sighed and frowned at him. 

"Hey, hey." He moved on the couch and cupped her cheek, feeling how smooth her skin was. "What's that frown for?"

"This isn't your life. Believe me, it wasn't mine before we had him." She leaned into his hand. 

Bucky smirked, "Yeah? I can see that on you. No offense, I ain't calling you a tramp. I just know a kindred spirit when I see one." 

Kate scoffed, "Let's make dinner."

He smiled and held onto his towel as he got up, "Let me put my home clothes on, alright?"

Kate followed him for lack of a better thing to do, also out of curiosity. Bucky was quite pleased by this, she was not shy at all. He looked at her and smiled, dropping his towel and chuckling. Kate looked him up and down and sat on the bed, her legs in a pretzel like she was watching TV. Bucky put his underwear on and pants before walking over to her and looking down at her. 

"Are we gonna sleep in the same bed?" He asked. 

"If you want to." Kate shrugged. 

"Am I allowed to perform my husbandly duties?" He cocked a brow at her. 

Kate sighed, the idea of sleeping with a Bucky that was her age was by all means very enticing but felt wrong. His voice played in her head, reminding her that it really wasn't cheating. "You just can't get me pregnant." 

Bucky nodded and moved back to his dresser to put a undershirt on. "So uh, Ben... where's he gonna sleep?"

"There's a crib in the retail shop down the street that I was eyeing. I thought about picking it up before bedtime." Kate shrugged. 

"Doll, I ain't got a whole lot of money for that..." Bucky spoke softly.

Kate stood up and wrapped her arms around his middle, "I have money."

Bucky turned around and looked down at her, wrapping his arms around her too. "I knew you had to be rich. You look rich. You smell rich. I'm married to a rich future woman."

Kate laughed and smiled at him. "I'm hungry."

Bucky led her out into the kitchen and they made the best mashed potatoes and corned beef they could, Kate laughing at just how Irish her husband was. 

"Shouldn't we bring some over to Steve?" She asked. 

Bucky swallowed thickly, "Ah, he'll be alright. He eats at the diner." 

Kate narrowed her eyes at him before waking Ben up for dinner. Kate fed Ben first, spooning bites of mashed potatoes in his mouth. 

"Can I try?" Bucky whispered. "I'm good with kids... my ma had my sister later in life and I helped out until she didn't need me anymore." 

"Rebecca. I know about her. Of course you can help." Kate handed Ben over, along with the spoon. 

Bucky smiled and situated Ben on his lap, making faces as he spooned the food into his new son's mouth. Ben loved it, eating all the mashed potatoes he could and not spitting up once. 

"Mmmmm mmm mmm!" Ben licked his lips and held onto the spoon, trying his best to get some for himself. He was terrible with food, always trying to get more than he could. Bucky laughed and helped him, making sure Ben didn't overcompensate on strength and whack himself in the eye with potatoes. 

Kate ate and watched her boys lovingly. Her heart ached, wishing it was her Bucky. Wishing the metal arm was wiping the askew potatoes off his son's cheeks. This was just fun for Bucky. He had no idea what it was really like yet, and she wanted to shelter him from that for now. Kate took Ben back without another word, changing his diaper and putting his shoes on. 

"What?" Bucky followed after them, "Where are you going?"

"The store." She spoke. 

"Let me come too..." He worked his home pants off. 

"No. I'll go alone. I will be fine." Kate sighed. 

Bucky shook his head, "No. Let me watch Ben." 

"You really don't have to do that, I'll bring him with." Kate shook her head. 

Bucky scowled, "He's my boy, ain't he?"

Kate scowled right back, "He's not a toy."

Bucky glared now, "I didn't know my wife was mean."

Kate handed Ben to him, glaring right back. "He is all I have. Take care of him."

Bucky was insulted, laying Ben down on the bed while he fixed his trousers. He picked him up and rubbed his back, kissing his forehead and smiling when Ben cooed at him. Bucky looked back at her, a hurt look on his face. "Don't let the door hit you on the way out."

Kate growled and left, slamming the door. She came back with a bed and some more toys for Ben. Bucky was playing the piano for Ben, guiding his hands to the right keys. 

"I'm sorry... for being mean earlier." Kate sighed. 

Bucky frowned and kissed the top of Ben's head, "We're all a little weirded out right now. I just... I want to be good to you. I'll only have you for some time before what... the war?" 

Kate shrugged. "Actually, it won't really work like that. Nothing I do here alters time. That's actually a fake thing. I think... I think you'll just forget about me and life will go on it's usual path. You'll find me in the future and we'll skirt around each other." 

He sighed, "Let me try then? Forever how long this lasts... let me try for Ben?"

Kate nodded and kissed his forehead, "Okay." 

* * *

 

Bucky spent the entire night with Ben, playing and even learning how to change his diaper. It was quite relaxing, being able to sit back while he took care of him. She even took a bath. It had been a while since she had taken a bath alone. 

"He's asleep." Bucky stilled in the doorway his cheeks pink at the sight of her in the low water of the bathtub. 

Kate smiled, "Does he like the little crib?" 

Bucky's eyes were too focused on the way her breasts looked in the milky water. The hair that hung near her ears curled on the sides as it was pulled up into a bun. Her tiny feet hung off the end of the tub, just looking like they needed to be rubbed. She had mentioned that they were the same age right then and it boggled his mind that he was the same age as someone who was a mother. Granted, he knew lots of girls his age with babies- sometimes more than one. It was just that she seemed more mature than he. He figured it was because she was a time traveling woman and had seen more than he had. Technically, he wouldn't be a father until he was 32, according to her. That was years away from now... but by all means, 

"Bucky." Kate spoke louder, taking him out of his reverie. 

"Oh... what was that?" He asked, licking his lips. 

"Does Ben like the little crib?" She repeated herself. 

Bucky nodded, "He loves it."

Kate hummed and got out of the tub slowly, wrapping herself in the towel and standing there for a bit to warm up. Bucky suddenly felt like a virgin again. She was prettier than a picture standing there. He was a lucky man, that future Bucky. He had a good looking woman and for tonight... forever how long she'd be with him, he got to sleep beside her. If he was lucky, he would be able to be inside her. 

"Good. He's a picky sleeper." Kate walked past him, moving into his-their room. 

"So am I." Bucky grinned, following her. 

Bucky had slept with many women, already so many he lost track, none compared to the naked woman before him. He flattened against the wall as she dried the water off her legs and let her long dark curls down. 

"I can feel you staring at me." She laughed, turning around.

He nearly fell forward at the sight of her. "Kate, where's your hair?"

Kate laughed and walked towards him, rubbing his chest. "Shaved. It happens. Lots of women do it later on. It's actually quite nice."

He blushed red and put his hands on her hips, "Oh... that's... good."

"You look exhausted." Kate smiled, "Go to bed." 

Bucky nodded and pulled his pants off, looking at her. "You got a nightie?"

Kate pulled a silk shift from the bag she got at the store, slipping it over her head. Bucky grinned crookedly and let out a low whistle, taking her all in. 

"My wife..." 

He grunted when his wife shoved him on the bed with her foot. 

"Your wife is not to be whistled at." Kate raised both brows.

"Yes, ma'am." He panted.

* * *

Bucky and Kate slept that night, well behaved but lovingly. Only, his hand was cupping her breast, which wasn't the worst that could happen but it did make the rest of her body want equal attention. Bucky woke up at four am, kissing her awake. That was a problem. 

"I gotta go to work." He mumbled. 

"What..." She winced. 

"I'll be home at 5 again." He kissed her hard. 

She pulled him against her, "What am I supposed to do all day?"

Bucky blinked and shrugged, "Knit?"

Kate slapped him, not meaning to do so so hard. He gasped and blinked, fully awake. 

"Okay... no fuckin' knitting. Jesus, woman. First you kick me... now you slap me?" He was hurt by this. 

"I didn't mean to so hard." Kate mumbled. 

"So hard?" He got closer to her face, not raising his voice. 

Kate pushed his face away and sat up, "That was a dick thing to say. Knit? Knit like I'm some housewife."

"You are a housewife..." He blinked, holding her body as she threw it at him. "It ain't a bad thing. Okay? It ain't. If you really wanna do something... take Ben out. Go see my ma... take him places and do shit."

"For a writer, you're not very eloquent with your words." She scoffed. 

He kissed her, "For a superhero, you're very mean to me."

She pushed away, "I'm trying."

He sighed, "I know. You're just bad at it. Maybe we should have sex later... work some of that anger out."

"You are a genius..." She laughed, laying back down. "Have a nice day, sweetheart."

He pulled her slip up and kissed her ass before changing into his work clothes. "Tell Ben I love him, will ya?"

Kate hummed, watching him get ready. "I will. When you come home, will you just wait a few minutes before showering?"

"Uh, sure. Why?" Bucky gave her a weird look. 

"Seeing you dirty like that kinda turns me on." She shrugged. 

"I'll really get dirty for you then, baby." His voice dropped low, sending chills up her spine. "Am I gonna fuck you like that?"

"No. Just kiss me. We'll fuck after." She smiled. 

"You like callin' shots." He grinned. 

"I'm a natural born leader, Bucky." She winked. 

He shook his head, "I'll be sure to pick up some more rubbers." 

* * *

 

Kate explored the city, finding it really wasn't as different as she imagined it would be. The most entertaining thing was the awe on everyone's faces when they saw her ring. Everyone suspected that she was married to a baseball player or a movie star. It took everything in her not to admit that she was married to Bucky Barnes, as it would spark a lot of confusion to the women who had recently slept with him. 

Ben was having a great time, truly. He was not as homesick as Kate was. That came in waves, the homesickness. She'd be fine and then extremely bad. She was so used to being only a few hours or even feet away from her husband. There she was, literally only ten minutes away from him and she was a wreck. It wasn't the same. He wasn't the same. She kicked herself for being so hard on her Bucky when she came back from the war. She knew she'd only be with this Bucky for so long before she was sent back home. She knew it wouldn't take long for them to stop it. But if Bucky didn't survive, she'd stay. She knew she'd stay there and live with this Bucky, even if that meant not ever seeing Clint or Sam again. They would understand. 

"You home, doll?" Bucky strode in, a big smirk on his dirty face. 

Kate had opened all the windows and sat in the window seat of one, Ben's crib on the floor nearby. She jumped off the window seat and ran to him, nearby knocking him down. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the side of her face. Kate clung to him and sighed with content until she pulled away when Bucky's hands wandered too much too soon. He moved towards her again, cupping her cheek and kissing her gently. 

"Hey, did I do something wrong?" He whispered. 

"No." She closed her eyes and looked up at him. "I just. I need affection."

Bucky threw his hat on the coat hook with impressive precision and kissed her again, "I can do that, doll..."

She moved her face away and held his still with her hand. "No. Not like that. Haven't you ever just held a woman? Just hugged her and played with her hair? Has a woman ever traced your features and made patterns into your skin with her finger?"

Bucky blinked and looked down, "No."

Kate sighed, "That's what love is like. It's not always fucking. Most of the time, it's just laying or sitting with each other and picking lint off of one another's shirt."

"I thought you wanted to fuck today." Bucky looked up at her, slightly disappointed. 

"I never said I didn't." Kate backed away further, growing angry at the way he was acting. Like an immature child. This wasn't her Bucky. He didn't act like that ever. "I just wanted you to hold me because I was lonely." 

"I did." He groaned. 

"You held my ass." She countered snarky. 

Bucky looked away for a long time, thinking things through. "I don't know how."

"What do you mean you don't know how?" She scoffed. "Like your mom and dad never showed affection around each other?"

"I don't have a dad." Bucky snapped. 

Kate's eyes grew wide and she swallowed thickly, curling away from him more than she already was. 

"My dad wasn't around. He was a lush and he left and I don't know much about love and I'm not too interested seeing as my ma's still hung up over a guy who left her with two young kids for a buncha dumb broads in Jersey. That ain't love. Love ain't my neighbor down the hall beating on his wife cause she burnt the casserole. Love ain't Missy Thompson getting pregnant on purpose so Peter Holstein had to marry her." He panted, "I wanna love you. I wanna be yours. I wanna show Ben what love really looks like but doll, it ain't as easy as it is for you. I assume I get better in the future, but right now, I'm lost."

Kate was struck silent. Bucky didn't talk about his dad. She figured he had died. "Bucky, I'm-"

He shook his head, "I don't wanna talk right now. Just... leave me alone."

Kate dropped on the couch, looking down at her lap. Bucky felt guilty the minute he was in the shower, but he was still a little mad at her too. He had come home hoping for her to drop what she was doing and make out with him. How was he supposed to know she'd be upset when he came back? This woman business was tricky. The guilt grew when he remembered he hadn't said hello to Ben. He'd just yelled at his mom while he took a nap. He probably woke the boy up, which would've made Kate even more upset him with him. He surely wouldn't be getting anything from her anytime soon unless he apologized. Apologies weren't really his thing. 

When he walked out, Kate was back om the window seat with Ben in her lap. He played with pieces of her long hair as it blew in the breeze. They were the most beautiful scene he'd ever seen. They weren't really his though, not yet. They'd just dropped into his life and expected him to play daddy. Bucky didn't really think as he put his good shoes on and slipped out the door in silence, shutting the door real quiet too. He walked around town, stopping at the bar and getting a drink and then another. It wasn't long until he found a girl and moved to a diner with her and then to the dance hall and then to her house later that night. 

Kate was raging mad, almost considering sending a message to Tony and telling him she needed to come back. She couldn't handle him. She needed her husband, not the child version of him. When she met him during the war, he was touch starved and scared and desperate for someone. But he cared about her. He truly cared about her. This Bucky wanted only sex and put up a good act of caring about her. She knew what he was doing, why he left and wasn't home. 

"Bucky..." Steve walked in, his eyes nearly popping out of his head when he saw Kate and Ben. 

"Steeb!" Ben reached for him, grinning wide. 

"Oh fuck." Kate winced. 

* * *

 

Steve put some soup on for the three of them, listening as Kate explained everything to him. He was quite skeptical, interrupting often to ask questions. They bickered too, but they always did that. She defied him and he defied her, but they loved each other like family. Steve didn't hesitate to tell Kate the truth, that he'd seen Bucky walking back to a dame's apartment. He felt sorry for Kate. 

"He doesn't do that to you in the future, does he?" Steve asked, setting coffee down in front of her. 

"No. He's very committed." Kate fiddled with her rings. 

Steve put soup in front of her and himself, smiling at Ben who was eating away at his baby food. "Well, I'm glad to hear that."

Kate couldn't touch her food, she was so filled with rage. Steve's shaky, skinny hand reached for her clenched fist and rubbed the back of her hand gently. Kate relaxed and smiled at him, beginning to eat her food. They talked about many things and Steve showed her his art. Steve asked politely if he could draw Ben, which was a no-brainer. She refrained tell him that he hardly doodles in the future, but did tell him that he sketched her often during the war. She made Steve blush often, which made him scoot closer to her as he drew Ben playing with his wooden ABC blocks. 

"Is Bucky a good dad?" Steve asked shyly. 

Kate sat in silence, trying to hide her emotions. "He's... the best. My Bucky. The one in the future. He's so wonderful. I know he would do anything for Ben and I. He's the one who sent us here, well you too." 

Steve looked at her apologetically, "I did?"

"It was with the hope that Bucky wouldn't go out and sleep around on us. The people we fight in the war have come back and threatened to kill me and take Ben." Kate ignored the tear rolling down her cheek. 

Steve didn't. He reached forward and thumbed the tear away, frowning gently. "I'm sorry, Kate."

There it was. Another time he had to apologize for Bucky breaking her heart. She sobbed, causing Steve to pull her close to him. He liked Kate a lot. She was pretty and intelligent and knew about art. Bucky always got the pretty ones, it broke Steve's heart to know he got this one and was an asshole to her. Steve rubbed her back and smoothed her soft hair, mumbling comforting words and sounds into her ear. When Kate pulled back, he grabbed tissues for her and rubbed her back more when she blew her nose loudly. Ben laughed and carefully got up, stumbling fast toward their legs. Carefully, Steve picked Ben up and sat him on his lap. 

"Hey, fella." Steve smiled at him. 

"Steeb!" Ben hugged his skinny body. 

Kate smiled, "You're one of his favorite people. You take him out all the time. You watch him when we need a sitter and even when we don't, you just offer to take him off our hands. You're great with him."

"I guess I don't have any of my own then..." Steve sighed, bouncing Ben on his knee. 

"Not yet." Kate put a hand on his shoulder. 

Steve helped Kate put Ben to bed, an exceedingly difficult task without Bucky around. Kate eventually got him to sleep, singing to him and rocking him like a baby. Steve watched the boy sleep for a while, amazed in how much he looked like a little Bucky. Kate was on the couch, her knees to her chest. Steve walked over and sat beside her, holding her hand. It was a risky move for him, holding her hand. This was Bucky's wife. It wasn't right to hold your best friend's girl's hand. 

But right now, Bucky wasn't acting like he was Kate's. Kate didn't object to the hand holding. Steve was always quite affectionate with her. It came from common experience and just knowing each other for so long. 

Kate fell asleep on the couch, her head on Steve's shoulder. Steve wrapped his arm around her, wishing he had the strength to carry her to the bed and cover her up. Instead he pulled the knitted afghan off the couch and laid it across the both of them. He soon grew tired and fell asleep with her, the sound of her breathing calming him. 

"Oh... that's nice." Bucky blinked, holding Ben in his arms. 

Steve was on top of Kate, his face in her neck before Bucky woke them up. He was then across the couch and red in the face. Kate just looked at him, glaring like he was the devil. 

"What time is it?" Steve asked, looking around for the clock. 

"Time for you to get out of my damn apartment." Bucky growled. 

Ben pouted and reached for Steve. "No! Steeb! No!"

Bucky looked at his son with hurt in his eyes. Kate got up and pried Ben out of Bucky's arms. Ben curled into Kate and cried softly. 

Angrily, Bucky turned on Steve. "She's my wife!"

"You're sleeping around on her!" Steve stood up, his fists ready for a fight. 

Bucky turned pale, "H-how do you know about that?"

Bucky turned to look at Kate and then Steve again. Steve shook his head, "I walked right by ya. You were sloppy drunk and walking all over the street with some dame. Your hands were all over each other. So I came back here, just by instinct and met your Future Wife and her son."

Kate pulled the tiny crib into Bucky room and put Ben inside with a few toys, closing the door. He didn't have to see any of what would happen. 

"So you slept on my wife?" Bucky raised his voice. 

"You left her and fucked another woman!" Steve shouted. 

Kate stood at the door and glowered at Bucky, who could hardly look at her. Kate inhaled sharply, "Steve, go home." 

"No, I ain't leaving you with him." Steve spoke softly. 

"Oh, you think I'm gonna hurt her?" Bucky scoffed, moving closer to Steve, his knuckles white.

"Steve, go home." Kate repeated louder with more intensity. Steve blinked and left without another word, just looking  back at them before closing the door. 

Bucky and Kate looked at each other for a long time. Bucky was still drunk, covered in cheap lipstick, and smelled like a whorehouse. He didn't make a move near her, just looking at her with a blank expression on his face with his bloodshot eyes. Kate walked forward first, her hands calm at her side before slapping him. It was harder than the night before. This one had power behind it, enough to knock him over. He caught his balance on the coffee table and held his cheek, feeling the sting and gasping for breath. 

"Was it worth it?" She rounded on him, picking him up by the shirt. 

He struggled and didn't look at her, tears in his eyes. "Yes."

Kate dropped him on the ground, away from the table so he hit the floor. He fell with a groan, curling on his side and bracing himself for more. Kate wanted to kick him, she wanted to make him bleed. 

"I'm leaving. Tomorrow morning." She declared. 

"Where are you gonna go?" It came out harsher than he meant it. He was concerned where she'd end up. 

"Away from you." She kicked him then but was stopped by his hand gripping her ankle and pushing her away. 

He stood up weakly and grimaced at the burning on his face, "You can't take Ben away from me..."

Kate slapped the other side of his face, "He's my son! You don't know anything about him."

Bucky didn't move that time, he just sighed heavily and looked at her. "You're my wife..."

His voice and body was so weak. He didn't try to fight her abuse. Bucky didn't push her off him when she tackled him and hit his chest, he could easily toss her across the room and end it all. But he couldn't. He wasn't sure if it was his tears or hers that were on him, but he assumed both. 

"I am not yours." She panted. "I hate you. I hate you. I hate you."

He whimpered and let out a sob, "I couldn't." 

"I don't care if you hate me!" She yelled. 

"No. I couldn't sleep with her. We necked and got naked and fooled a bit but I couldn't fuck her." He sobbed harder. "I ran out of there and came back home. I was gonna tell you and beg and plead and do anything for you until you forgave me."

"You still went too far." She shook her head and moved off him. 

He got up weakly after her, "I know. I know I did. I ain't any better than my old man. I wanted you to hit me and yell and just... do what you needed to do to forgive me." 

Kate laughed without humor, tilting her head at him. "You think that me hitting you is going to make me forgive you?"

Bucky just looked at her blankly, his knees feeling weak. 

"I love my husband. And you have made me angry enough to hit him. I am not the kind of wife who hits my husband and he would never raise a hand to me." Her voice cracked. 

Bucky moved towards her, half expecting her to hit him again. He wanted her to, he wanted her to him him harder. But she didn't. He stood in front of her and kissed her forehead weakly. Kate let him, fighting the urge to push him away. 

"Please. Please don't leave me." He mumbled, looking down at her. "I'm a bastard and I don't deserve you. Just don't leave. I don't know how I'll live with myself. I won't touch you. I won't talk to you. I won't look at you."

"Not Ben either." She grit her teeth together. 

He sank a little more, shaking his head for a moment. "Alright. That's fair."

There was no love in her heart for him. Kate didn't see her husband at all, she just saw a desperate man. Turning her back on him, she went to the bed and pulled Ben out of his crib so he could sleep beside her. Ben woke up a little, mumbling about dada. Kate rocked him back to sleep and tried to think about her husband and not the man in the living room.

* * *

 

Steve went to Bucky's the next day, sneaking Kate out while Bucky was still hungover on the couch. Kate brought a few toys for Ben and toured the city with Steve. After that, they went back to his tiny apartment a few floors below Bucky's. It was neat and pretty and smelled like fresh laundry. Steve apologized for the smell, he was above the laundry hall. 

They spent the entire day talking and laughing. This Steve was awkward but just as kind. He was young and embarrassed by everything he did, even though Kate didn't mind or find him embarrassing at all. Steve was very much wanted to impress Kate. It started off as an apology for the way Bucky was, he felt like he could've stopped his friend from doing what he did last night. Now, he just wanted her to himself. 

"I'm glad we're friends in the future." Steve smiled as Kate tried to figure out a time appropriate hairdo without chopping all of her hair off. 

"Me too, you have no idea. It's just you and me for a while too. We stick together." She smiled. 

It was a harmless conversation, she didn't mean for it to go anywhere. The Steve she knew was risky, he jumped out of planes and ran straight into the line of fire. This Steve fought in alleys and kissed his best friend's wife. 

His lips were soft, unused and gentle with hers. She felt scarring that made her want to stop and ask who and where he got them. Steve was careful with her but intimate. Not greedy or selfish, just curious and sweet. It was the perfect way to describe him: curious and sweet, not greedy or selfish. Kate moved her hands to his cheeks, feeling them burn beneath her hands. With small light strokes, she rubbed his cheeks and felt them cool down. 

Kate couldn't remember the last time she kissed someone so purely. It had to have been long, long ago. Possibly before she was even a teenager. Before she was brainwashed and could remember names of those she kissed before shit fell out of ceiling tiles and landed on her life. This was nice. It took her mind off of her husband fighting HYDRA and the guilt she felt about not being there and the Bucky upstairs that she left in a hungover heap on the couch. 

Steve pulled back and smiled at her, "I guess, if I don't do it then... I should now." 

The guilt didn't hit her until after. It wasn't the Bucky upstairs she felt guilty about, it was the Bucky at home who trusted Steve with her. She couldn't ever tell him. Still, Kate smiled and laid her head on his shoulder, figuring something like that wouldn't happen again. 

Kate and Ben didn't leave until dinner time, when Steve had to go to his job. Kate walked up the stairs with Ben and tow, finding Bucky cooking dinner on the stove. Ben giggled when he saw Bucky and waddled over to his legs, clinging and humming. 

Bucky smiled, picking him up and kissing him on instinct. He froze, looking over at Kate who turned the other cheek and sat on the couch. She couldn't stop Ben from loving his father, no matter how big of an asshole he was. Kate wanted to rebel against his cooking, the savory smell of the meat. There was no reason it should've smelled that damn good. She didn't think there was seasoning in the 40s, not in an Irish man's home. But this Bucky was full of surprises, after all. 

"Do you like chicken?" He asked quietly. 

Kate looked out of the corner of her eye to see Bucky flipping the chicken over as Ben was on his hip, clinging to him. Bucky would wake up with Ben in the mornings when Kate was sleeping in after she had him and show him how breakfast was made even as an infant. When he got bigger, he could actually watch instead of crabbily lay in the baby bjorn strapped to his dad's chest. Ben liked watching Bucky cook, Bucky made it fun. He'd make funny noises and sing to Ben, teaching him nursery rhymes. 

"Yeah." She replied quietly. "He... Ben likes it when you sing as you cook. He can't really say the words but he can mimic most of them pretty well. It teaches him how to talk." 

Bucky looked at Kate forlornly and began to sing to Ben, "Somewhere over the rainbow... way up high..."

Kate stood up immediately at that, watching them as their backs were to her. Ben giggled as Bucky's voice dipped low and rose high. He even tried to sing a long with him, loud and tone deaf but adorable. Kate wished she had a phone so she could record it. Bucky loved  _The Wizard of Oz._ He would sing that to Kate as she fell asleep on the nights she was having baby pains. He had a lovely voice, that man of hers. 

"Where trouble melts like lemon drops, high above the chimney tops..." Bucky's handsome voice crooned to Ben. 

"That's where you'll find me..." Kate joined in with them. 

Bucky turned the stove off and spun around, gaping at Kate. "Well, go on..."

Kate licked her lips and thought about the lyrics for a moment, "Oh somewhere, over the rainbow... bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow. Why then, oh why can't I?"

Bucky smiled a bit, joining back in with her. "If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow... why, oh why, can't I?"

Ben clapped his hands like he always did and grinned, "Mama!" 

Bucky chuckled, "Yeah, Ben. Mama sing well." 

Kate blushed and looked down a bit, nodding her thanks. "So uh, need any help with dinner?"

Bucky handed Ben to her and gestured for her to come in the kitchen. "I cooked chicken breasts with some asparagus. That alright?"

Kate looked up at him and smiled, "It's great."

Usually, this would lead to a kiss. Instead, it went with Kate going into the living room to set Ben on the couch as he listened to the radio while Kate got his food ready. Ben put his own bib on and ate hungrily, spitting up on slightly but only out of excitement when Bucky started humming the song again. Kate kissed Ben's hair and let him play with his toys while they ate. 

"How was Steve's?" Bucky asked gently. 

Kate nearly choked on asparagus. "How?"

"I was going to go to his house, you know... cause he's my friend... and I heard laughter and then I heard nothing. Just... smacking. Like loud asthmatic lips against really smooth lipsticked ones." Bucky spoke softly, like it hurt to say it. 

"You heard right." Kate admitted. 

Bringing Steve into it was wrong, but giving him a taste of his own medicine wasn't. Someone had to. Bucky pushed his plate away with half a chicken breast and a few asparagus left. He looked at her, his face pathetic and hurt. He didn't want to believe it. 

"He's my friend." He whispered.

"He's my friend too." Kate argued as she ate. 

Bucky scoffed, his voice gaining volume. "Do you do that in the future?"

"No." Kate shrugged. 

Bucky licked his lips and drank some water, trying to keep his composure. "How could you do that?"

"I didn't sleep with him, James." Kate drank her own water. 

Bucky blinked, "Oh." 

Kate scoffed, finishing her plate and taking his to the kitchen. "You really thought I slept with Steve Rogers?"

"Steeb!" Ben yelled. 

Bucky looked back at Ben and then followed Kate, scrambling because he was actually still hungry. "It was safe to assume!"

Kate sighed and shrugged, "What were you gonna do about it?"

Bucky grabbed his plate and ate asparagus off it. "Cry. Maybe ignore you and only feed myself and Ben."

"But you're still mad." Kate shook her head. 

Bucky nodded, looking at her heartbroken. "What I did was beyond wrong. But Steve?" 

Kate washed her plate and the silverware, not speaking. Bucky waited patiently and slumped when she was silent for long enough. He put a gentle hand on her back and traced up her spine with his thumb. Kate shivered and fought the urge to lean back. He moved his hand to her shoulder blade and traced the curve, his breath warm and gentle on her neck. 

"What are you doing?" Kate whispered. 

"Slowly working my way back into your good graces." His voice was heavily Brooklyn and like always, it turned her on. It was the first time she was honestly turned on by him by just the simplest thing. 

He licked his lips and sighed, "I'll put Ben to bed... you can wash up and get to bed too." 

Kate nodded and walked immediately to the bathroom, getting under the cold water and leaning against the wall, touching herself until she found some kind of release that came all too soon. She turned the water off and walked into the room, changing into her nightgown and getting into bed. The sheets were fresh and smelled like a sweet cologne that she could only assume was his. Thinking about it more, he did smell nice when they were eating and when they were in the kitchen. It was a nice touch. 

Bucky slept on the couch with Ben on his chest, drawing tiny circles on the baby's back and humming softly. He was determined to make things better with Kate before she left him to return to her actual Bucky. 

* * *

 

Bucky didn't work the next day, meaning Kate couldn't sneak off to see Steve. It was a fleeting thought really and not a sexual one. She just liked the gentle company, it made her feel like she was 16 again. Bucky was up early and making breakfast. He fed Ben, who woke him up earlier than he wished he would have and made pancakes and eggs for Kate. The pancakes were floppy and oddly shaped but fully cooked and edible. The eggs were far more desirable but he knew they had a short span of eating time because they got cold so fast. 

"Should I wake her up?" Bucky asked Ben, who had his fist in his mouth. 

Ben pulled his fist out of his mouth with a pop and tilted his head at his dad, "Mama?"

Bucky nodded, "Yeah, mama. Should I wake her up for breakfast?" 

Ben blinked, only hearing mama and breakfast. He raised his arms up in the air and whined until Bucky picked him up. He clung to him, babbling away like he was having a conversation with his father. All he could think about was his mama. Mama was the prettiest lady he'd ever seen, she loved him lots and always fed him. She kept him clean and made him giggle when she did raspberries on his belly. Ben liked it the best when mama kissed dada, though. They didn't do it much in the new place though, he didn't understand why and didn't really care.

Bucky rubbed Kate's back and moved the hair that was over her face to the side, looking at his wife. He was a dummy for even trying to cheat. He was a goner for her the moment he saw her and he almost lost everything over some woman he didn't even know the name of. This was a woman given to him by chance. A woman from the future. A woman with a child that loved him without any evidence of Bucky loving him back. How was he gonna go until, what did she say? 2014? How was he going to go until 2014 to see her again?

Kate groaned, opening her eyes slowly to see Bucky and Ben. Tiredly, she reached out for Ben who reached right back out to her. Bucky handed him over and sat on the corner of the bed, gazing at them lovingly. 

"I changed and fed him. There's pancakes and eggs waiting for you. Coffee too." He gave her a soft smile. 

Kate sat up and kissed Ben, looking at Bucky. "Have you eaten yet?"

"No. I was gonna wait." He licked his lips. "If that's alright."

Kate nodded and got up, carrying Ben to the living room and setting him down as she sat down to eat. Bucky always knew how to make a good cup of coffee, which she loved in every tiny time she shared with him. He knew how to fry an egg too. The pancakes looked miserable but Kate was never one for aesthetics. She thanked him for breakfast and did the dishes for him. Bucky then moved onto the couch with his book, reading silently as music played from the radio once more. Kate picked a book off the shelf,  _Frankenstein._ The story had always intrigued her but she had never really gotten around to reading it until then. 

That's how they spent their day. They took turns changing and entertaining Ben. Kate was the one who napped with him, mostly because she just wanted to hold her baby. She missed being pregnant. She missed Bucky. She missed Lucky. She missed Clint. She even missed Tony. Thinking of them woke her up rudely, causing her to lay Ben on the couch and creating a pillow fort around him so he wouldn't get wild and roll in his sleep. Kate longed for her husband and found him, sitting at the other end of the couch on the other side of her son, reading  _Brave New World._

"That's a good one." She whispered. 

Bucky looked up immediately, "I stole this from a shop when it came out. We didn't have any money so I took it and ran. I've read it at least twice a year since if you couldn't tell." 

Kate chuckled, Bucky had told her about his thievery when he was younger and poor. "I read it in a high school literature class. I got the highest score on my paper in the entire class."

Bucky smiled, dog eared the page, and set the book down to look at her. "Oh yeah?"

"I got a 100%, first the teacher had ever graded for that paper. It was an intense six pager. We basically had to dissect every little piece of it. It was insane." Kate laughed. "But hardwork paid off and it was submitted to Harvard. They thought it was sub par but that was also because it had my name on it."

Bucky furrowed his brow, "What's so wrong with your name?"

Kate sighed, "You know how I told you I grew up rich and spoiled and without my mom for a while? Well, I was very unsupervised and would party frequently. I drank, did drugs, had sex, danced inappropriately... I was a paparazzi's wet dream. I'd get sloppy and they'd all come out in droves to photograph the late senator's daughter, the disgrace to Hell's Kitchen, the child prodigy gone wrong..." She sighed. "I wasn't a bad person. I just did things that weren't super great. I still gave to charity quietly and did my work. I was in college then, what did they expect?"

She was ranting, embarrassing herself. Bucky liked it though, he liked hearing her talk about her life. She was an enigma to him, her mysterious life. The future didn't seem so different, really. He still liked it though, mostly because she was there and had a better time despite all the bad things she had told him about. Those things about her kept him up at night more than the bad things she told him about his own life in even the near future kept him up. It killed him to know that there was nothing he could do to change the paths of life and save her from all the bad. 

Their conversation about great classic literature turned into Bucky showing Kate his poetry. It was the poetry Kate had already read and fallen in love with. When she brought the notebooks back from the war with her, she intended to give them to Bucky in hopes he'd start writing poetry again. He let her keep them, saying there was a subconscious woman in his head he wrote about and now that woman had a face and name. 

"You have some kind of hold on me, Kate Bishop." He watched her, tucking a loose curl behind her ear. 

Kate laughed and shook her head as she flipped through the pages of his notebook, "Well, it goes both ways."

Bucky licked his dry lips and ran a fingertip over her hand as she read, watching her shiver and look up at him. She flipped her arm over, letting his fingertips move up the smooth surface of her skin alongside the light blue veins. He bent over and kissed the middle of her forearm, letting his lips drag against the soft silky skin until he reached her wrist. 

Kate's breath hitched and she felt the slow hardening of her nipples. She was in a fuzzy daze. Everything was warm and her eyesight was foggy like she was inside a mirror. Her skin tingled where he touched and burned where he kissed. It was so easy to forgive him when his body touched hers in any way. It was like their bodies knew they were meant to be together even if their minds couldn't get it together. 

Kate was in such a flurry that she didn't even notice Ben stumbling towards them, yelling about something. Bucky was alert and calmed him down, getting up to change his messy diaper. Kate was still in a blur when Bucky called her name a bit frantically. Her mom instincts kicked in, knowing it was something about Ben. She rushed to their room and let out a tiny laugh when she saw what was wrong. 

"We have to put him in the bath." Kate laughed, walking forward. 

Bucky looked mortified, "Uh.. okay. I'll run the water."

"Not too high!" Kate called out as Bucky practically ran to the bathroom. 

She had to give him some credit, Bucky had cleaned most of the mess off of Ben's back. Kate had seen worse come out of her son, things that made her Bucky cringe (not much made James Buchanan Barnes cringe after years of being an assassin). Ben was especially cranky and would not stop crying, Kate didn't blame her boy, he must have been hurting. Kate finished cleaning Ben and carried him to the bathtub to clean his back and legs. 

"He was due for a bath anyway." Bucky sighed, trying his best to cheer his son up. 

"When he's in a bad mood, he's in a bad mood." Kate tried to explain it. "Kinda like you."

Bucky sideglanced her and shampooed Ben's hair gently, making Ben coo softly. Bucky smiled, noticing that his hair was the same as Kate's. Kate washed the rest of Ben and sang nursery rhymes, trying to get him to sing along. Bucky joined in again, singing in silly voices. Ben did not crack a smile or sing along at all. His face was a permanent pout and he was constantly on the verge of tears. Bucky drained the tub and let him sit in there for a while, just to see if his mood would improve. 

"Mama..." Ben reached for her. "Cold." 

Kate got the towel ready and wrapped him inside of it, swaddling him like he was an infant again. Bucky followed them and helped Kate dress Ben, kissing Ben's belly lightly, no raspberries. Ben pouted and reached for his dad once he was dressed. He needed his dad's comfort after getting sick like that. Mom was nice but dad had something special that made him feel better no matter how bad the tummy ache was, he just wouldn't admit that to mom. Bucky held him and rubbed his back in small circles. 

"Ready for bed, Ben?" Kate's voice sounded like what ice cream tasted like to Ben. He'd had ice cream one time and it was wonderful, uncle Steve had waited until it melted a bit and wasn't too cold for reasons Ben didn't really understand but knew was for the best because uncle Steve loved him lots. 

Ben nodded and clung to Bucky for a while longer, not really wanting to let go yet. He didn't feel like he had to cry anymore but still kind of wanted to. He decided he would cry hard if he couldn't fall asleep easily. Sometimes mommy would get him if he cried hard at night but sometimes she didn't. He knew this was to "teach him independence". Ben did not like whoever this Independence was. They could, as mommy and daddy said when they thought he couldn't hear them, fuck off. Ben didn't know what that word meant but he liked when they said it because it usually made them both laugh and it was even better because it was supposed to be a secret word between them. He tried to say it a lot but it was hard to make the right noises. 

"Let's lay down." Bucky said as he put Ben in the crib and put a few of his new blankets over him. 

The green was his favorite to put in his mouth and the red one was the softest. It felt like mommy's squishy parts daddy called "boobs" or if he was being funny "tits", mommy called them "titties" and "breasts" when she was talking to other ladies. Not all ladies had milk come out of their "titties". Ben learned this the hard way with Wanda, who laughed and called him a silly goose. He was not a goose. He was a baby. He cried for a half hour until daddy showed him The Outdoors. Ben loved it outside. It was green and happy and always smelled different. 

Bucky looked at Kate adoringly, wishing he could take back everything and just sleep in bed with her. They were making progress. He picked up a pizza pie from the shop and brought it home to her. Kate hadn't had an authentic pizza pie in 1940, it was an entirely different experience seeing as the people had just come off the boat to make food for Americans. Kate had more than she should have and so did Bucky, feeding off of her energy on how good the pizza was. They left three pieces left and decided they'd eat them tomorrow. 

The next few hours were spent reading in silence, thigh to thigh. Kate went to bed first and Bucky stayed on the couch, dreaming of having her in his arms. 

* * *

 

There was red everywhere. It was like the opening scene of  _the Shining_ but worse. It was thick sticky blood like it had been there for a while. It stuck to her shoes like gum and she had a hard time maneuvering around it. There was screaming from voices she couldn't put bodies to. It was only her in the blank space of her subconscious. Something inside her told her to find Ben. She began running in her dream, feeling her heart race until she bumped into something. There he stood, two feet taller than her and more gruesome than he really looked, the Red Skull. Most importantly, the Red Skull with her son in his hands and Bucky at his side. Bucky looked the way he did when she first saw him, scary and haunted. It was the first time she'd been truly scared of her husband. The worst was seeing Ben with the same expression and hatred in his eyes for Kate. 

There was a boom and Kate sat up, screaming. Bucky was already in the room, sitting at the edge of the bed and moving towards her. Kate was drenched in sweat and sobbing. 

"Hey," Bucky crawled towards her and pulled her limp body into his arms. "You're okay..."

Kate clung to him shakily and shook her head, "I- I have to go..."

Bucky put his hands firmly on her hips, "Not right now, okay? It's late and you're tired and you're not thinking right."

"Where's Ben?" Kate rasped, looking around. 

"In his crib, sound asleep. He's alright. I'm alright. You're gonna be alright. Look at me, baby." Bucky spoke soothingly, wiping sweat off her face. "I've gotcha. Ain't no one gonna get you while I have you. There's a gun under the bed and my wife is damn scrappy from what I've heard."

Kate nodded frantically and closed her eyes, "Stay."

Bucky sighed, "Are you sure?"

Kate looked at him, her eyes bloodshot and her skin pale. "Please."

Bucky moved her back down and grabbed her towel, dabbing the sweat off of her before getting in the bed. Kate laid on her back and looked at the ceiling for a while, not blinking. Bucky's fingers danced on the exposed skin. Her arms were swirls, her collar bone was like ivy, cleavage was deep circles that felt wonderful, and he held her hand, kissing sweetly and comfortingly. Kate blinked and pulled the blankets over them more, wishing she would open her eyes and be in the big grey room in their huge bed with white sheets and the deep plum cover blanket. 

Sleep would not find her. Bucky knew this just as well as Kate did, it was in her body language. Bucky was so wired from nerves and the sheer fact that she was letting him so close that he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. Kate needed to sleep, she had Ben to take care of and she would feel bad if Bucky didn't sleep either and he was the sole caretaker of Ben while she slept all day and vise versa. Kate rubbed the back of his hand, hearing him hum softly to let her know he was awake. Kate moved their hands up her body and landing on her chest. Bucky let out a heavy breath, his hand tightening on hers for a short moment. 

"Doll..." He licked his lips, his breath a little heavier still. 

"Please..." Kate whispered, watching Bucky's eyes darted around her. The moon outside lit his face up just enough to show how hungry he was for her, how willing he was to help her. 

"Tell me what you want." Bucky moved forward with caution, letting her call the shots. He was not willing to mess this up again. He just wanted her to be happy, to stay with him and be happy. 

Kate shifted on the bed and eventually knelt on her knees, pulling the slip nightgown over her head and letting it drop to the floor in a pool of silk. It took every ounce of self control within him to not lunge forward and kiss her everywhere and fuck her until she fell asleep. But he was good. He was going to be good. Kate directed him gently, leading him to touch her breasts first. On her instruction, he rubbed her nipples first. After that, he pulled and the went to licking and sucking gently when she gave him the OK. He would be happy doing this and doing that alone, though he didn't complain when she told him to kiss down to her cunt. 

"Really?" He grinned, it was like relief. He was straining so hard against his boxers he thought he was going to break through. 

Kate instructed him how to kiss and tease but he stopped when she told him one thing. That's when Kate learned the most shocking thing about her husband. 

"You've never eaten pussy?" Kate whispered, surprised. 

Bucky blushed and looked embarrassed. "Girls don't ask for it really."

Kate walked him through it and he did his best, going to fast at first and then going too slow. It took a while to reach a happy medium but once it was found, it was wonderful and Bucky had successfully gone down on his first woman and his only wife. The problem was, Kate wasn't tired. She soon learned another thing. Bucky didn't last long.

"How long do I usually last?" He asked, laughing.

"Now, like an hour sometimes. You've literally held it off for an hour." She laughed back.

He groaned, shaking his head. "You must have hurt the next day."

"I'm used to it." She shrugged.

Bucky sat there, taking the condom off and rolling another on, kissing her passionately. "Wait, what about during the war in a few years? I get better?"

"You do. We were usually in a rush but it was a decent length of time." Kate reported back.

Bucky licked his lips. "Can I try again?"

Kate kissed him again, "Bucky, you don't have to. We both- oh fuck me!" She moaned as Bucky pushed into her, making sure she was okay. She nodded and laid back as he went at her. He worked her a little harder that time, his hands going at her breasts and his lips sucking at her neck. Between the summer heat and the activity, they were sweaty messes. The room was filled with sex and sweat and noise. Kate reached and miraculously was able to open the window a smidge, which made Bucky laugh and kiss her lovingly.

When Kate and Bucky both came, Bucky could hardly move out of her. "How long was that?"

"Longer than before." Kate murmured.

Bucky weakly shot a fist up in the air and pulled out, throwing the condom away and collapsing on the bed.

Kate shut the window once the room had aired out and cooled down, cuddling with the sticky husband with a smile on her face. Bucky noticed she was different, happier and less tense. He was spent, completely and totally tired.

"I love you. I love you and I'm gonna rue the day I have to let you go." Bucky mumbled.

"We always find our way back to each other." She whispered. "I love you too."

Bucky kissed her forehead tenderly and rubbed her ass in a comforting way, not in a sexual one. Either way, it relaxed her and coaxed her to sleep. Bucky stayed up, thinking about his son and his wife. There was an obvious connection, an obvious reason he was so attached. A part of him knew that they were his family. They were how he ended up. Everyone that had said he'd die alone or with several bastard children... they were wrong. They were wrong because he wasn't going to die alone. He had a wife and a son and maybe they'd have more. He'd die in the war and become a slave to Nazis but that would lead him to Kate. All of that suffering would lead him to her. This small, angry, sarcastic, genius was his and he didn't want anyone else.

So when the time came, he'd let her go. They would always find their way back to each other.

* * *

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's perspective in the future

There were nights where he swore he could feel her next to him. Her side of their bed still smelled like her; fresh lavender and honey. The worst was the dreams. He'd dream she was in bed with him like they always slept together. All dreams were different: sometimes they were just laying together, other times they were having sex, sometimes they were watching Ben. The ones that hurt were the dreams of things that had already happened. He'd dream of kissing her before running to Wakanda or when she came back from going to WWII. 

He longed for his wife. The gold band on his metal hand never left the finger, the world would know that he was her husband and he loved her well. He tried not to think to think of what past him was doing with her, if he was kind or just sleeping with her. He thought of their son and how he was missing milestones in his growth. 

A long time ago, Bucky had read  _The Odyssey._ An epic poem of a man on a 20 year journey who is separated from his wife and son and their kingdom. Bucky could not reason whether he was Odysseus or if Kate was, but he knew he missed her more than anything in the world. 

HYDRA pulled no punches this round, which Bucky was almost glad for. The violence distracted him from his utter heartache. The thought that those bastards wanted his wife and his son kept him fighting. He would not let them take Ben the way they took him. Not his son. He wouldn't let them ever touch his wife again. What angered him was the fact that no matter what era, the Red Skull never showed his face right away. Like any coward, he wanted everyone to kill each and every single one of his soldiers before getting to him. 

When there was no violence, there was only heartache. Steve had Sharon, Bucky couldn't complain about that. Sharon loved him and Steve loved Sharon. Things were getting close to ultimate seriousness and there were times Bucky would turn, as if Kate was there so he could gossip about how lovey the pair was. He watched with near envy some mornings when Steve had the trace of a hickey on his neck and the sunny deposition of someone who had just gotten laid. Wanda and Vision were at least subtle, they were a connection to Kate as Wanda could focus in on Kate's brainwaves. 

"They are better now." Wanda reported. "You don't have to go hating yourself. I knew they'd be alright, you two are always alright."

"I would never cheat on my wife." Bucky clenched his fists. 

"We know you'd never cheat on her, Bucky." Vision patted his shoulder, calming him. "You must remember that this is you in a different time. You were young and slightly terrified of a beautiful woman calling herself your wife with a child that looks just like you on her hip."

"Are they..." Bucky licked his lips, not wanting to make things too awkward. "Sleeping together?"

Wanda coughed and sighed, "Well. Yes. In both connotations."

Bucky knew he told her it wasn't cheating, but there was still the worry that she'd come home pregnant again... and worry that she wouldn't come home at all. 

Mostly, he worried over the idea that he wouldn't ever seen them again because he would die. 

* * *

_"Don't go." Kate whispered. Her eyes were slightly red like she'd been crying before he made it known he was leaving._

_"I have to." Bucky mumbled, unable to look at her as he finished packing. He wanted nothing more than to stay with her. Maybe he'd never wanted someone more than he wanted her. He wasn't sure._

_Kate moved to sit on the bed, looking at him with tears in her eyes. "No."_

_Bucky set the final knife into the bag and sighed, his resolve breaking. "You have to let me go."_

_"No." She repeated like it was the only word she knew. It angered him. He'd listened to her rant and speak in five different languages but now... now when he needed to hear more... she couldn't say anything more than a one syllable word._

_"I'm not asking for your permission." He looked down at her._

_They glared at each other for a while, both breathing heavily. Their glare went from hatred to lust quickly. Bucky made the first move, surprising both of them. He crawled on the bed over her, kissing her neck first. Kate pulled his hair back and made him kiss her properly. It was loud and messy and hard. Neither or them were gentle with each other, they were angry._

_It had been so long since he'd done anything like this. His hands wandered her body, stopping at her breasts and feeling the soft flesh and the hard nipple. He pressed against her, letting her know she was doing the same to him. Kate moaned softly, letting go of his hair and watching as he kissed over her shirt and all over her neck. His hands went into the sweatpants, feeling her wetness briefly before she pulled the hand out and looked at him._

_His eyes went wide, knowing he'd gone too far and he had to run. Kate surprised him by licking his fingers and sucking each one before pushing him down so she was on top. Bucky wanted her, but he knew at the rate he was going, he might hurt her. So, he picked her up and pressed her against the wall, one hand up her shirt and the other pinning her hands to the wall. She let out noises that he couldn't decide whether they were in pain or excitement, but judging by the fact she didn't stop him, he continued. His fingers worked her breasts as his lips crushed against hers._

_It was rough and cruel, this act of aggression. He didn't know who it would hurt more; her or him. She would move on from him easily, he knew that for certain. But he... he would never. He knew that as he kissed her. He wished they'd just beat each other. He wish she'd hurt him. Why couldn't she have just killed him, dammit? Why was she so good. So... well, not pure._

_"Stay." She rasped as his lips assaulted her neck._

_He kissed up to her ear lobe, pressing his forehead against hers. "I can't."_

_"Then let me come with you." She tightened her legs, his erection pressing hard against her now._

_He came out of his lust ridden drive then, breaking down and crying into her neck. "No... no..."_

_She held him close, kissing the top of his head and murmuring things that calmed him down. Bucky kissed up her neck again, trying so hard to be gentle. He mumbled things in Russian like "darling" "sweet angel" "My love" "Baby" "Forgive me" "I love you". He meant it. God, he meant it and it burned inside him like a forest fire. He loved her. He was leaving her. He was leaving her for safety. For himself. He was selfish. He was dangerous. He loved her._

_"I'll come back to you." He rocked against her, making her moan. "And I'll come back with only good intentions."_

_She struggled against his hold until he let her hands go. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him hard again, like it would make him stay. He rubbed against her more, hoping that maybe he'd get to hear her moan again. He lifted her hips up and moved his head under her shirt, kissing and biting at her gently before sucking._

_"Bucky." Kate moaned. "Bucky, stop."_

_He did, looking up at her worriedly._

_"Go." Kate didn't look at him. "Just go."_

_"Did I..." Bucky's voice shook.  
_

_"No. Just go. Stop and just go." She unlocked her legs from his waist and dropped to the floor._

_He had hurt her, just not physically. "Kate..."_

_"I said leave." She raised her voice at him. She commanded him._

_He always did as told._

* * *

 

Schmidt was stronger now. Angrier. But he wasn't smarter. Bucky took almost too much pleasure in killing him. He made it slow and painful, just like they tortured him. They was almost too much satisfaction in seeing the life leave his body. Sharon killed Zemo after he tried to brainwash her. But there was one last final blow. 

Madame Masque killing Steve. 

* * *

 

"Bring her back." Sam said, his voice lower than usual. 

"It's too dangerous. Masque will kill her and Ben without any hesitation." Clint shook his head. 

"She needs to come back." Natasha said. "Masque wants her. Kate can finish her. I know she can. I know she still can."

"You're going to put Bucky in risk of losing his wife and child after just losing Steve?" Wanda looked at Nat. 

Sharon stood up, silencing everyone. "Steve said a long time ago that if anything were to happen to him, that Kate was the only one who would calm Bucky down. That was before they were married and before Ben."

"We'll take Ben to the Bartons." Sam whispered desperately. "If Kate doesn't come back soon, Bucky'll either go fully catatonic or he'll kill everyone that gets in his way."

"Isn't that a risk for her then?" Natasha reasoned. 

"He'd never hurt her." Clint snapped. 

Tony sat in chilled silence, his mind reeling after everything that had happened. "I'll set it up right now. Kate will be here and she'll calm down Bucky. Once he's calm, he can see Ben and then Ben will go to the Fury. We can't risk Ben going to another family if Masque has her eyes on him. Fury's better at hiding than anyone on this Earth. Everyone but us still thinks he's dead and in the ground."

Clint looked at Tony, his eyes filled with thanks. "Are you going to warn her?"

"I'll send a telegram. I figured out how. Hopefully she'll respond quickly." Tony licked his lips. "This is time sensitive." 

Sam looked down at his lap, "Are we gonna tell her Steve's gone?" 

The words struck Tony hard, "No. Let Bucky tell her. They can grieve together, as they should." 

Sharon bit down on her lip hard, trying to keep from sobbing again. Sam wrapped an arm around her, closing his eyes when she collapsed and cried onto his shoulder. He had been trying so hard to remain strong. 

"This won't be easy." Vision sighed sadly, his hand on Wanda's knee. 

"No, it shouldn't be." Tony said, walking into the other room. 

* * *

 

> KATHERINE, 
> 
> YOU NEED TO COME HOME. BUCKY NEEDS YOU. HE IS ALIVE. I'VE SET THE MACHINE TO BE READY AT MIDNIGHT. 
> 
> STARK

Bucky sat on the couch with Ben, feeding him applesauce. Bucky made plane noises and engines revving, making Ben giggle and beg for more applesauce. Kate didn't know how to bring it up. This was the last time she would leave her husband, any past variation of him. Her mind struggled to figure out exactly why Bucky needed her so urgently. Of course, she was willing to go, already packed to leave. She just couldn't figure out what the reason was. If they won, Tony would've worded it better. If Bucky was dead, he would've just told her. 

Midnight. She had until midnight to say goodbye to this Bucky. Glancing at the clock, she saw it was 8. Ben would be sleeping when they... when she left with him. She'd been with this Bucky for three months. Things had started rough but had gotten better. They were operating like a normal married couple, only in secret. He longed to show her off but instead stuck to just taking her out dancing. They had fun acting like she was the new dame of the week, going to different bars and halls to dance and drink. Steve was always willing to watch Ben. 

Steve and Bucky and reconciled. Steve came over for dinner every night, playing cards with Kate and Bucky and listening to the radio shows with them. Kate was quite well adjusted to this small fraction of their life. It was a small piece she'd only get once in this time frame and she was quite glad it was the way it was. Now, she had to say goodbye to all of that. This Bucky and Steve would not remember their time with her and Ben. they wouldn't see her in the war. Steve would see her a few weeks after coming out of the ice, post the Manhattan battle. 

"You alright, Kate?" Steve asked her, grabbing another coke for her. 

Kate slid the telegram to him, watching his reaction. Steve looked sad and he sighed softly. His long hand held hers quietly, like he was saying I love you. 

Telling Bucky was a different beast. Steve had said goodbye and Ben was in his crib. Bucky had brushed his teeth and was ready for his wife to join him in bed and kiss until they were either too tired or too horny. Kate wasn't in her nightgown. She was in the clothes she came in and when Bucky looked, so was Ben. 

"No." Bucky shook his head. "Not yet." 

"I have to be there at midnight. It's just right outside. You'll see it." Kate whispered. 

Bucky gripped her hips and then cupped her cheeks, "Princess..."

"I have to." She let a tear fall. 

He knew it would come. He knew he'd have to say goodbye. He knew. He would let her go. 

Bucky nodded kissing her gently, "One last time? Please?"

Kate smiled and kissed him again, "Is all you want from me sex?" 

"I didn't mean that." Bucky laughed, wiping her tears away. "Tell me how we find each other again." 

Kate's heart swelled a little and it was how she knew he loved her. "Okay."

* * *

 

Ben woke up a little before midnight anyway, meaning Bucky could say goodbye to him. Bucky didn't cry when he said goodbye to him, knowing he'd see him again. Saying goodbye to Kate was a little different, she'd been his wife for the past three months. He stared at her for a while and then kissed her everywhere he could. He didn't want to forget. 

"I love you." Bucky kissed her forehead. 

"I love you too." Kate smiled at him, trying to keep composure. 

Bucky put a hand on her flat stomach, "Promise me.... promise we'll try to have one more? A sister or maybe a brother for Ben?" 

Kate nodded, "That is the plan when I come home."

"Really?" Bucky smiled. 

Kate kissed his cheek, "Please take care. I mean, I know you do."

"I can't wait to see you again." He whispered. 

They kissed one last time before taking Ben outside and to the portal. Bucky was amazed. It was almost just like the books he read about time travel. He kissed Ben's forehead and Kate one last time and watched as they walked off and out of his life for now. 

Kate held on tight to Ben and woke up back where she was the first time, everyone surrounding her again. 

"Dada?" Ben called out. 

Kate looked around, everyone was too somber for it to be good news. "Where's Bucky?" 

Clint stepped forward, kissing her forehead and holding Ben. "He's in your apartment."

"No, I want Ben. Ben misses him." Kate blinked in confusion, trying to get Ben back. 

"Papa." Ben grinned at Clint. Clint smiled at the boy and then looked at Kate. 

"He's not good. He'll tell you. Go." Clint spoke softly. 

Kate ran to their apartment, nearly knocking the door down.  She called for his name, finding him in Ben's room, rocking in a corner. His eyes were bloodshot, the bags under his eyes were deep purple and aged him, his skin looked yellow-ish and he sported a full beard. Her husband looked like a zombie. It took him a second to realize his wife was really standing in front of him. He shakily got up, his face looking more like him the closer he was to her. 

"Bucky, what happened?" Kate wrapped her arms around him. 

"Masque killed Steve." Bucky spoke monotonously.

It knocked the wind out of Kate's body, her knees went weak. Had Bucky not come to his senses, she would've fallen right on him. He carried her to their bed, laying her out and climbing over her. Kate let him suck and kiss different points on her body until she also came to her senses. 

"Masque killed Steve." Kate repeated. 

Bucky stopped and shook violently, he was like a fire hydrant ready to explode. 

"Baby...?" Kate sobbed. "Is it true?" 

Bucky's tears hit her neck like fire and he sniffed. "She shot him... right in front of me. In front of Peter. In front of the whole world. It was televised."

Kate's body shook with sobs, drawing Bucky out of his state and curling into her and also crying. The sun was up when they stopped crying. 

"I want to see Ben." Bucky's throat was sore. "They... they want him to go to Fury. Once we kill Masque, we'll get him back." 

Kate kissed Bucky gently, leading him to kiss her roughly. It had been three months since he'd been with his wife. They kissed until they felt light, forgetting for a moment what was going on. Bucky pulled back first, stopping her hands from going to his belt. 

"Ben." He whispered. "Then I am yours." 

Both Kate and Bucky washed their faces and tried to make themselves more presentable to be seen by their friends and son. Bucky kissed Kate once more, knowing that if he didn't have her, he'd be in even worse shape than he already was. Ben was excited to see his dad, screaming and throwing himself at him. Bucky actually looked like himself when he had Ben in his arms, his smile returned and his eyes looked more alive. 

"Dada furry." Ben moved his fingers through Bucky's beard. 

"Is it alright?" Bucky asked him, his own fingers shifting through all the hair that had grown on the top of his son's head. 

"Yes!" Ben grinned and threw his arms around Bucky. "My dada." 

"I'm your dada, that's right. Where's momma?" Bucky whispered to Ben. 

Ben looked up at pointed at Kate. "That momma!"

"Where's papa?" Bucky asked, looking at Clint. 

Ben giggled at pointed to Clint. 

"What about Sam?" Bucky asked and Ben pointed at Sam. 

Ben looked around, his eyebrows pushing together. "Where Unca Steeb?"

Kate went to grab Ben but Clint stopped her, wrapping his arms around her. 

Bucky's eyes filled with tears and he looked up for a moment before sighing, "Uncle Steve... he's not around anymore. But he loves you very much. He's gonna look over you, always. Even if you don't see him." 

Ben blinked and looked around again, confused. "No."

Clint let Kate go and Kate, rubbed Ben's back. "Uncle Steve is gone, Ben."

"Gone." Ben repeated. "Bye?"

Bucky choked back a sob, "Yeah."

Ben didn't fully understand but knew his mom and dad were upset by this. He didn't want uncle Steve to be bye either, but he wouldn't cry. He knew that mom and dad would only cry more if he cried. 

Bucky made eye contact with Sharon and Sam, who were crying silently. Kate guided Bucky and Ben back to their apartment. Ben showed Bucky how well he was walking and his somersault skills. Ben babbled Bucky's ear off while Kate watched as her husband looked to only be a shell of what he usually was. It was like when they first met again. It was understandable. Kate wasn't any better. 

Ben fell asleep an hour or so later, happy to be in his room. Bucky and Kate took a quiet bath together and got in bed. It felt right, being together again. There was just an empty hole in both of their hearts. Kate had just seen him, just hugged him, held his hand. They'd laughed together and ate. She was going to see him again. She was going to joke about how he had a thing for her and try to explain how they kissed. 

"He was so eager to see you and Ben again." Bucky whispered. His mind was moving at a hundred miles an hour but was neither here nor there, tracing her collarbone and breasts. "He thought the uh, kissing was funny."

Kate blushed, "Wanda..."

"You know I'd never cheat on you, right?" He whispered. 

"I know." She kissed him. 

"I wish you hadn't left." He spoke weakly. "I needed you, Kate. I needed Ben. I needed my family. Everything was so empty with you and a few days ago when Steve... I felt so lost again. I needed my wife, my baby, my friend..."

"I'm here. Ben's here." Kate held his face, "I know this hurts, honey. You know that I do. He was there for me when I lost Cassie. I'm gonna be here, right here, for you. I'm your wife." 

Bucky kissed her gently, moving down her body and laying his head on her stomach for a moment. She had gotten skinny again. "I want another baby."

Kate sighed, "Bucky. Now isn't..."

He crawled up her body and kissed her neck, "Ben'll be two." 

"You're upset right now. We said we'd talk about it after, just not right now." Kate spoke calmly. 

"I don't want him to be alone." Bucky's voice was muffled by Kate's neck. 

Kate rubbed Bucky's back, "He won't be alone. He has Clint's kids..."

He kissed her neck and looked at her, "When things... calm down. We'll talk. I just wanna see you pregnant again. So beautiful and we have perfect babies. Like a little nuclear family and then we'll be done. Maybe a surprise baby before 40, but other than that, just two."

Kate sighed, smiling at him and kissing him. "You need sleep."

"I need you." He growled lustfully. 

It turned her on, of course. Fighting with herself for a moment, she gave in and laid back as Bucky filled her and kissed her. His thrusts were gentle and sweet. They came together and fell asleep shortly after. Hours later, they woke up to Ben yelling for them. 

"I got him." Bucky got up and put on his boxers, picking Ben up. "What is it, son?"

"Hungry." Ben clapped his hands. 

Kate wrapped herself in the blanket and watched as Bucky got him food and watched Ben feed himself. It was a sweet scene and her favorite to watch over and over again. She had missed it to much the past few months. Now, she'd get her husband back but her son would go. Kate got dressed as they ate, thinking about how she'd say goodbye to him. Bucky kissed the top of Ben's head proudly and looked up at his wife, nothing but love in his eyes. 

* * *

 

All Ben knew was that Old Nick was going to take him on a vacation. He was very excited as the word was associated with the sunglasses wearing Sun and the blowing breeze and beaches. Mom and dad said that they wouldn't be with him but they'd eventually join him. That was okay with him, he'd miss them but he was going to be a good boy for Old Nick. 

Kate was a mess without Ben, however. Bucky held her for hours, reminding her that it wouldn't be long. They'd kill Masque and they'd get Ben back. Kate practiced day and night, refreshing herself on the bow and arrow and hand to hand combat. Bucky spent this time with her, helping her and making sure she didn't run herself down. Natasha came in and helped her one day and so did Sharon. Kate and Sharon had been spending more time together, Sharon wanted to be there when Kate took Masque out for good. 

Amid all of the training, there was the funeral. Bucky wouldn't get out of bed until Kate forced him. She washed him and dressed him, she even made him eat. Bucky wanted to go back in bed with her, cuddled against her warm nakedness and never leave. He couldn't say goodbye and watch his friend go in the ground. 

"I don't know if I can do this, Kate." Bucky mumbled, his hands on her hips as she applied her makeup. 

"Yes, you can." Kate flicked mascara on her lashes. 

Bucky's hands moved up to cup Kate's breasts, "I love you." 

"I love you too." Kate moved his hands and turned around to kiss him. 

They stood there for a while, kissing and staring at each other. 

"Are you ready?" Kate asked him as they walked out of the apartment. 

Bucky was frozen but spoke when she grabbed his hand. "No. But that was Steve's thing, jumping into situations he wasn't ready for. I need to do this for him."

Kate kissed his freshly shaven cheek and walked out with him, Sam and Sharon behind them with Wanda and Vision flanking at the back to say goodbye to the Captain one last time.

 

 


End file.
